By Khadijah Lim

I never knew the significance of partaking in dhikr. The act boasts benefits such as protection, sin cleansing, and an increase in sustenance. Surely, I had to try it out. Surely, it pleases Allah ﷻ, right?

So I did. I went through every dhikr I possibly could, greedily. Paragraph after paragraph, I exhausted myself without understanding the intricacies of each dhikr. In fact, I did not even internalise the significance of the act itself to begin with.

Unsurprisingly, I gave up after a while, and I never picked up from where I left off, save for the basics.

“Even then I did not ponder about the virtues of what Rasulullah ﷺ meant when he said, “Let not your tongue cease to be moist with the remembrance of Allah, Mighty is He and Majestic.”

Imam Hanbal

I didn’t feel it. I did it because everyone was doing it. It was a good thing, but my heart didn’t move.

SOMETHING WAS STILL MISSING—SINCERE REMEMBRANCE OF ALLAH ﷻ. WITHOUT THAT, IT WAS AS THOUGH THE BODY HAD BEEN DEPRIVED OF ITS ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS. CONSEQUENTLY, THE HEART FEELS RESTLESS AND LISTLESS.

Alhamdulillah for teachers who give us reminders and prescriptions for the soul.

“Didn’t you claim to love Allah? Then where are your ‘flowers’ and ‘silly gestures of love’ for Him?” 

I wanted to be madly head-over-heels in love with Allah ﷻ, and not just claim it. This time, I really wanted my heart to move. It was bad enough that there was literally nothing for me to offer to my Rabb ﷻ; worse still, if I couldn’t even thoroughly fulfil the acts of ibadah passably.

No, the engine didn’t immediately roar to life. The start was difficult. I mispronounced; My eyes darted to every corner of the wall in front of me—spotting dust bunnies and deciding to remove them after I was done; I stretched and leaned in every listless position except sitting upright, as depicted in illustrations of famous alims in religious books.

ALHAMDULILLAH FOR TEACHERS WHO MOTIVATE AND REASSURE, FOR THEY REMIND YOU THAT THE BEST OF THE BELIEVERS ARE THE ONES “WHO REMEMBER ALLAH ﷻ WHILE “STANDING, SITTING, AND LYING ON THEIR SIDES.”

I recently came across the term “pick-me boy/girl”.

I understood it as internet slang describing a person who tries to gain attention and validation from the one they are attracted to by doing things that are outside of social norms.

I laughed when I read it because I wanted to be a pick-me Muslim. I wanted my Rabb to pick me to be among those He is pleased with. However, there is so much work to be done before I can attain such a noble status. But at least for now, I care little about the dust bunnies and I can sit upright, alhamdulillah. I pray that we will all be blessed with the ability to overcome our nafs every day, even if it is with a mere ‘Astaghfirullah’.

And alhamdulillah, I remembered something about a special grade of people that Rasulullah ﷺ spoke about:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said,

“When Allah loves a slave, calls out Jibril and says: ‘I love so-and-so; so love him’. Then Jibril loves him. After that he (Jibril) announces to the inhabitants of the heavens that Allah loves so-and-so; so love him; and the inhabitants of the heavens (the angels) also love him and then make people on earth love him”.

Al-Bukhari and Muslim

I wanted that. Masyaallah, imagine: THE Lord of the Worlds announcing His Love for you. So there was renewed, albeit fluctuating, motivation in my heart.

Pick me, ya Rabb, pick me for the good. Pick me to be among those You love whose hearts are turned towards You. Pick me for the good, ya Rabb, pick me to be of those whom You are pleased with.

ALHAMDULILLAH FOR TEACHERS WHO GIVE US REMINDERS AND PRESCRIPTIONS FOR THE SOUL. AND LIKE PRESCRIPTIONS FOR THE BODY, WE NEED TO CONSTANTLY GO BACK TO OUR TEACHERS TO REVIEW THE STATUS OF OUR HEARTS.

InsyaAllah, they will be able to give us a suitable dosage of dhikr to keep our hearts healthy.

فَٱذْكُرُونِىٓ أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَٱشْكُرُوا۟ لِى وَلَا تَكْفُرُونِ

“Remember Me; I will remember you. And thank Me, and never be ungrateful.”

Quran 2:152

Do You Believe in One God
& Ready to [Re]start your Journey of Faith & Gratitude as a Muslim?