By Rayna Inshirah Suan

May Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the family members of our Prophet Muhammadﷺ.

By the Mercy and the Grace of Allah ﷻ, I’m seated in the Masjid of Nabawi reflecting my time spent here.

Why did I choose to come for Umrah? What are my intentions and purpose for being here?

What gave me the courage to pack my bag and leave for a two-week spiritual retreat to the sacred lands of Mecca and Madinah.

What did I do to deserve this generosity of my Lord.. who gave the asbat (means) to be here today with my teacher and Jemaah. Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah. We can only shukur (pour our gratitude) to Him.

Stepping into the compound of Masjid Nabawi, I’m greeted with tall star-strucking structures of the Masjid. To look at it literally, they are like any building, land or space. That included the pit stops we made along Mount Badr, Mount Uhud, Masjid Quba and alongside the other sites.. that are rich in histories of our pre-ancestory lineage.

Ustaz reminded us that it’s not about the place, but what lies within the place itself. What the struggles of our forefathers were like, why they held on so strongly to the message of Islam and how they defended their lands in the name of Islam against the disbelievers. I could only hear and read this information now that we have access to it online. But, have we truly taken the time to reflect on the lives of the Sahabahs, Awliya’, and Anbiya’ and of their sacrifices and struggles for Allah ﷻ and the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ?

As the day draws closer to our departure, my heart is excited, knowing that I’m visiting the place where the foundation of Islam was built millions of years ago. I wanted to see for myself.. what it was like.. to have many Muslims coming from every counterpart of the world, believing and worshipping in the one same Illah. Arabs or non-Arabs, they are the same. Just as in our Singaporean context, converts are often perceived as abandoning their race. Malays or non-Malays – we are all the same. Regardless of your race, ethnicity, or your nationality, on the Day of Judgement, (the day of answering), none of these truly matter.

Not even your social standing, how wealthy you are, or how influential you can be.. What truly matters is your Heart. Allah ﷻ looks at your Ikhlas (sincerity) and Taqwa (God Consciousness).

I made the intention to strive to draw closer to our Lord. To know Him better. But, how am I going to achieve all of these with no battle amours in mind?

Alhamdullilah for our Teacher, Ustaz Sameer who guided us, and provided for us the means to seek knowledge on what beneficial knowledge is in Islam (Fardu ‘ain).

The day comes and I find myself doing more ibadah, waking up for qiyam, reading lots of wirids and dhikr. But, at a certain point, I didn’t just want it to feel ritualistic.

The heart is supposed to feel. And we, as insan (man) are born to fall short into a state of ghaflah – forgetfulness and heedlessness.

Have I asked myself, why am I given another day of life? Have I reflected on His sifats (attributes) that are manifested in signs through his Creations and servants.

How can I live more consciously and give thanks to the One who provides for me, and allow me to eat and live on His provisions?

“O You who have believed, eat from the good (i.e. lawful) things which we have provided for you and be grateful to Allah if it is [indeed] Him that you worship.” (2:172)

The day came when we had a personal booking at the Rawdah – also known as the Riyadh al-Jannah, a blessed area between the Prophet Muhammad SAW’s chamber and his pulpit.

It was said that if you send prayer between the chamber and pulpit, it is described as a ‘garden of paradise’.

All my sisters were so excited to send our Salam to Rasullulah ﷺ, and the night was filled with emotions, gratitude and stillness.

I had a conflicting moment.. it was as if my heart couldn’t feel or connect as deeply as the rest. And I was disappointed. Yet, Allah ﷻ allow us to experience emotions in different ways.. In that quiet private moment, i wondered what Allah ﷻ wanted to tell me? As I take my train of thoughts back, I allowed my emotions to settle in. How big or small, they are also emotions. It may not be about the immediate response or quickly the heart connects to a place. But again, there are wisdom behind everything. As Ustaz reminded us, the best of deeds are those that are small, yet consistent.

I’m determined to find out more about the seerah, the biography of our Rasulullah ﷺ, the shamā’il (his physical and moral qualities); the khasā’is (his unique qualities provided exclusively to him or his nation); and the dalā’il al-nuvuwwah (the proofs of his Prophethood) as a form of reminder and strength of how Islam is lived and the stories we can take wisdom from to apply in our lives.

Knowing that he is the commissioned prophet to guide mankind, and the leader of our nation, how honoured am I to be part of his Ummah.

Rasulullah ﷺ was reported to have wept for the ummah that would come after him, expressing concern over their state—“What will be the condition of my ummah after me?”

Ya Rasulullahﷺ, for someone who has never met us, his compassion and concern for us were so profound. He only wants what is best for us. And he was willing to sacrifice so much, alongside the Sahabah, for the sake of Islam. All of this was for the Ummah of Rasulullah ﷺ – which refers to us, the Muslim community living today.

لَقَدْ جَآءَكُمْ رَسُولٌۭ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ ١٢٨

“Laqad ja’akum rasoolun min anfusikum ‘azeenzun ‘alayhi ma ‘Aniston hareesun ‘alaykum bil-mu’neena ra’oofun raheem.”

There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [but he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful. (Surah Taubah:128)

Are we ready to step up? Are we ready to take a share of the deen? And strives like how the Sahabahs, Awliya’ and Anbiya’ strives during their time.

“And whoever fears Allah, He will make a way out for him. And will provide for Him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies on Allah – then He is Sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything in a [decreed] extent.” (Surah At-Talaq:2-3)

Visiting the sacred lands of Rasulullah ﷺ brought me profound calmness and peace. I cherished every moment of companionship with our sisters, performing wirid and dhikr together in the open courtyard, witnessing Allah’s majesty and grandeur reflected in His signs and creations.

I packed home with me in luggage, not filled of chocolates, dates and gifts, but to become a better servant of Allah ﷻ , in the strives to grow closer to Him, to acknowledge that I am nothing without His essence, to know Him by seeking beneficial knowledge, to put the knowledge into practice by being consistent (Istiqamah) and inshAllah to reach the stages of Yaqeen.

I strives to emulate our Rasulullah ﷺ and I felt that visiting Masjid Nabawi and the Rawdah was a heartfelt invitation from Him to know our beloved Prophet on a deeper, more intimate level.

The best way to understand the Quran is through the Sunnah. Our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is like a walking, living Quran. By learning the Sunnah and walking upon its path, I hope to draw closer to my Habibullah. Witnessing his courage, his sacrifices, and the unwavering certainty rooted in his character, I strive to emulate his noble qualities in my own life.

May Allah ﷻ facilitate openings for us and accept all of our ibadah, doas and intentions.

May He grant us the spiritual insights and to be able to look at things in different perspectives.

May He grant us the courage and to live and to honour the identity of Islam with commitment and reverence for our Rasulullahﷺ.

“O Allah, grant us the serenity of wisdom. Bestow upon us the clarity to discern right from wrong, and the courage to choose the path that leads to Your pleasure.”

Ameen Ameen Ya Rabbal alamin.

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

May Peace and Blessings be upon you and upon our Prophet Muhammadﷺ