By Kowsalya Balakrishnan

“Guide us to the straight path”

Quran 1:6

Assalamualaikum wr wb dear readers!

My name is Alya and I took my Shahadah on February 2017 when I was 22 years old. 

My journey of seeking Him began in March 2016. However, as I sit down and reflect upon my journey to write this blog, I recall having the first taste of Islam when I was 7 years old. 

Despite growing up in a strict household which held strongly to traditional inherited beliefs other than Islam, I always had an interest in reading about other religions. I remember being intrigued by the way my Muslim classmates worshipped their Lord, the discipline that was instilled in them, and was awed by the peaceful aura as they performed their prayer. I also recall being drawn to the call of prayer (Adhan), when it played on Malaysian TV channels, when I scrolled through channels randomly. 

However, I harbored the common stereotypical assumptions of Muslims in Singapore as many of my family members believed that conversion to Islam upon marriage was wrong and forced upon and is likely to break up families. I began to feel that the Islamic faith was quite selfish generally. 

These assumptions stuck with me till I found two of my close friends back in 2011. I remember feeling a sense of peace and calmness whenever I surround myself with them. They were pivotal in changing my assumptions on Islam and about the ideal Muslim. However, I had no intention to explore Islam yet, neither did they encourage me to explore it.

Fast forward to early 2016, I began my second year of University in Australia. At that time, I had moved into a house with various different housemates and certain circumstances made me depressed and lonely. I suffered a huge blow when my close aunt was diagnosed with cancer. As I considered myself religious, I wanted to pray for my aunt and seek solace at the same time. However, since the temple was a long 3 hour drive from my home, I decided to accompany my Catholic friend to her church instead. 

I prayed, following the traditions and practices of the Catholic faith diligently, despite having no clue of what I was doing. That was when my friend remarked that it is important to understand the practices rather than to follow them blindly. I began to delve deep into the Catholic faith and questioned the faith that I was born into. Soon enough, my protestant friends got to know that I was exploring Catholicism and persuaded me to explore the protestant faith as well. 

Most of the theology presented appeared logical to me. However, I was not able to relate to the statement that one will receive salvation if they were to believe in Jesus being the son of God. I asked my friend to clear my doubts, but was met with a condescending reply which did not address my doubts. In a fit of frustration, I abandoned exploring the particular faith. 

Interestingly, a few months prior, I had collected a couple of pamphlets, and a Quran translation from my university’s Muslim Student Association booth, but did not bother looking through them, until after the above incident happened. A particular book called the “A brief Illustrated guide to Understanding Islam” caught my attention as it was filled with scientific facts which were found in the Quran, of which one was the development of the human embryo.

The verse mentioned: ‘We created man from an extract of clay.  Then We made him as a drop in a place of settlement, firmly fixed.  Then We made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and blood clot), then We made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed-like substance)… Quran 23: 12-14. 

I was very surprised to learn that such specific details about the embryo development which could only be observed by the microscope were in the Quran. Very interestingly, it was the same period when I was studying about human development in my university.

A comparison between a human embryo and a picture of a “chewed gum”. Notice the similarities between the teeth mark and the embryo’s back bone? 

I whispered to myself, “Eh, there is something in Islam lah”. In the next 6 months that followed, I delved deep into Islam & began to read more. I compared sources of Islam and Christianity and after logical reasoning & deductions, I was somewhat convinced that Islam was the logical truth. 

My protestant friend discovered that I was exploring Islam and re-persuaded me to look into Christianity again. After months of exploring Islam, unfortunately, I was faced with doubts about the faith and became confused as to which religion was true and felt quite helpless. 

AS I FELT QUITE OVERWHELMED BY MY SPIRITUAL DILEMMA, ONE DAY I PROSTRATED IN MY ROOM AND SUPPLICATED “WHOEVER IT IS, ALLAH OR JESUS, PLEASE GUIDE ME TO THE STRAIGHT PATH”.

In the days that followed, I noticed changes within myself. I became more calm and composed, wore modest clothes and managed to abandon certain bad habits which were very unproductive to my mental and physical well being. That was the moment of truth for me, which affirmed my belief in Islam and decided to take the Shahadah. I came back to Singapore for my summer holidays 2 months after, took my Shahadah, and left for Australia on the same day itself, to resume my 3rd year of studies (*my mind voice* escaaaaapeee). 

And the journey to Him continues as we walk on His Path to know more about Him and to Serve Him.

Thank you for taking time to read my journey. May God facilitate the Journeys of everyone who is seeking Him and grant us strength to be sincere in serving Him. Ameen

Do You Believe in One God
& Ready to [Re]start your Journey of Faith & Gratitude as a Muslim?