By Tania Lin

As-salamu alaykum wr wb brothers and sisters,

I pray my journey and challenges inspire you to draw closer to Allah ﷻ, our beloved Prophet Muhammedﷺ and Islam. I pray for love and guidance from Allah ﷻ as I share my journey. All beneficial knowledge and good deeds are from Allah ﷻ, and any shortcomings are from me.

Twelve Years A Christian (2004-2015)

My name is Tania, and I converted to Islam on 29 December 2020. From a young age, I constantly sought validation and distractions from friends and was easily influenced by others. I attended a Methodist School, and our form teacher constantly drilled into us to “receive Christ.” So, I did when I was 12 at a church camp.

As a teenager, I viewed religion as a safety net and moral compass that protected me from harm and the world’s vices. I attended church and served actively as a “Sunday Christian.” My worldly lifestyle made me more empty and depressed. At the same time, my beliefs and church friendships were superficial, and I wondered why I couldn’t connect emotionally and intellectually with my church friends.

No one there was willing to discuss philosophical and more profound topics and question the status quo. Despite this, I was conscious of God’s existence and constantly prayed and spoke to Him. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were interchangeable and the same to me.

Journey to Islam (2015-2020)

Questioning my beliefs as a Christian

I was in my early twenties when I met my husband, Zulfikar. Before meeting him and some Muslim colleagues at work, I had no form of interaction with Muslim friends or knowledge of Islam. My perspective of Islam had superficial and negative connotations shaped by the mainstream media.

Our first few months together were turbulent, and we had many challenges centered around religion and differences in principles and values. I held a savior mentality to “save” Zul and convert him into a Christian. My church friends were firmly against our relationship to the point where it was difficult to stay together, and I eventually dreamed of “God” asking us to separate.

Alhamdulilah, it was through this painful separation that Allah ﷻ guided us to start intensively researching monotheistic religions through:

Discovering more about the origin, history, and politics of Christianity and the Bible
Watching apologists debate between the Abrahamic faiths
Reading an English translation of the Quran

I found it increasingly difficult to defend the theology of my Christian faith due to the inconsistencies in its history and scripture. Despite separating, both Zul and I continued to hold intense, hour-long discussions on religion. I could not get any answers to my intellectual, spiritual, and mental questions in church.

Reading the Quran and having these intense discussions helped me understand Islam as a religion of peace, contrary to what I learned from society.

SUBHANALLAH. I WAS AMAZED AT HOW THE QURAN WAS DIRECTLY FROM GOD — NOT EDITED AND PRESERVED IN ITS NATIVE LANGUAGE AND SCRIPTURE.

Alhamdulilah. All the time, I wanted to “save” Zul but Allahﷻ used him as a means to guide me back to the right path. We eventually reconciled, and I left the church in 2015. Alhamdulilah. Over the years towards my conversion, Allah ﷻ allowed me to meet more Muslim colleagues and I fell in love with fasting, Ramadan, and the hospitality of Muslims through the years.

Taking my Shahadah (2020)

In Dec 2020, I took my Shahadah with Zul and my parents-in-law; I felt a profound sense of peace and tranquility. My heart told me this was the right path to take.

Alhamdulilah, my parents did not oppose my conversion, as my happiness mattered more to them than religion. What I thought was the end of my journey towards Islam was just the beginning of it.

Turning Back to Allah SWT (Aug 2022)

When we moved into our new home, Allahﷻ , in His Infinite Wisdom, brought about immense blessings to us. One of them was being surrounded with many good Muslim families with whom we connected very well with. Allahﷻ also blessed me with an extraordinary Muslim motherly figure next door who has given me lots of help and guidance.

During the COVID-19 period, we got caught up with worldly affairs. It was not long till Allahﷻ called us back to Him by testing us through trials and tribulations. He tested us with many losses, such as material, offspring, and spiritual disturbances within our home.

At some point, I wept to Allahﷻ on my prayer mat in submission. These problems were too much and huge to bear. Something unlocked in my heart and soul. Everything made sense. Prayer was the only way to fill my heart’s void and emptiness. Initially, I returned to Allah ﷻ out of fear. As I spent more time understanding, loving Him, attending classes and pursuing beneficial knowledge, this fear grew into immense love and gratitude for His mercies.

Life used to be in black and white. Now, there’s colour and beauty. I wake up thanking Allah ﷻ for each day.

Allah’s ﷻ mercies gave rise to more purpose, meaning, and a profound sense of freedom, knowing the only validation you need is from your Creator. Alhamdulilah, it is only out of His love and mercy that this world is a test and not permanent, and we have the privilege of time in this world to strive for and return to the Hereafter. It is only out of His love and mercy that knowledge was bestowed to us through our beloved Prophet ﷺ and the Quran, for us to make sense of this world and learn how to navigate through it.

Dear brothers and sisters, with all that you are going through – I pray my story inspires you to hold on to your ropes which are connected to Allah ﷻ – no matter how thick or thin – and to continue reaching out to Him.

May our good deeds, beneficial knowledge, and pious offspring suffice at the end of our lives. Please forgive me for my shortcomings.

“Patiently bear every calamity, take heart,

Know that harm never endures forever.

Be patient, just as the nobles were patient:

It is a fleeting event; here today, gone together.”

— Heartfelt Advice to a Friend

“O Allah, rectify my religion for me, which is the protection of all my affairs. Rectify the worldly affairs for me, which is my provision. Rectify for me my Hereafter, which is my abode. Make my life a means of increasing all that is good, and make my death tranquil for me and a relief from all that is evil.” Ameen.