By Muhammad Aalif Tan

I intend this for the sake of Allah & may this article benefit or bring at least one person closer to Allah ﷻ.

HOW OFTEN DO WE GET SECOND CHANCES IN LIFE? WON’T WE APPRECIATE IT IF THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING IN YOUR LIFE GAVE YOU ANOTHER SHOT? I CERTAINLY WOULD, ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS CHANCE CAME FROM ALLAH ﷻ.

My journey to Islam began around eight years ago, during one of the darkest times in my life due to family issues. I began to question life and the purpose of our existence. What is the meaning of life? Why does it feel so mundane? Study, serve the nation, climb the corporate ladder, get married, buy a house, raise children, grow old, and then die? What’s the deeper purpose? It seems that we’re all following a blind generic path? Is living merely an “experience”? If that’s the case, why do some of us start life in luxury while others face poverty? Where’s the ‘justice’ in that, and who determines it?

We spend around a quarter of our lives studying for a piece of paper, so that we can get “good jobs” and “good pay,” only to find working in unrelated fields different from what we studied. We work hard to climb the corporate ladder, believing that this will lead to a “better life.” More than half of our waking hours are being consumed by work, not including the overtimes, all in pursuit of money. Is the purpose of life just to become a money-making machine? Does having a good job and a high pay truly ensure a better life? If that were the case, why do so many successful people struggle with depression, regret, and a sense of unfulfillment?

I began to doubt the existence of God. If God exists, why is life so meaningless and unjust? Why is there evil in the world? And why did my family had to endure so many trials and hardships?

Life took a different turn when I met my ex-wife who is a Muslim. I knew from the start that if we were to marry, I would had to convert to Islam. I wasn’t hesitant about it because religion wasn’t something significant to me, and I wasn’t practising my previous faith in any case. Until someone asked me “bro, are you sure about this? What if the relationship doesn’t work out? Will you just revert back?”. Those questions lingered in my mind. I began to reflect on the purpose of having a religion. I assumed that the aim of all religions were to teach us to be good individuals. But how will refraining from pork or alcohol help me in becoming a better person? If I convert without practicing, what kind of religious foundation will my children have? So I told myself that either I convert whole heartedly or I don’t.

I took the next step of finding out more about what Islam by attending a ‘Knowing Islam’ Session at Darul Arqam (Muslim Converts Association), which began a series of enlightening experiences for me. During the session, we watched a video that presented the Quran’s detailed account of fetal development in a mother’s womb. I was amazed at how anyone 1400 years ago could know of such details, especially without the existance of a microscope back then! I thought to myself, “This must be the truth!” There was simply no other explanations.

وَلَوْ شَآءَ ٱللَّهُ لَجَعَلَكُمْ أُمَّةً وَٰحِدَةً وَلَٰكِن يُضِلُّ مَن يَشَآءُ وَيَهْدِى مَن يَشَآءُۚ وَلَتُسْـَٔلُنَّ عَمَّا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

“And if Allāh had willed, He could have made you [of] one religion, but He sends astray whom He wills and guides whom He wills.[1] And you will surely be questioned about what you used to do.”
Quran 16:93

I attended several more classes at Darul Arqam, which reinforced my conviction that Islam was the truth. It is also where I met my teacher, Ustaz Sameer, during the Let’s Pray 1 classes.

In 2019, I took my Shahadah:

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللَّٰهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ ٱللَّٰهِ

ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾillā -llāhu, wa-ʾašhadu ʾanna Muḥammadan rasūlu -llāh

“I testify that there is none worthy of worship but Allah, and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”

I got married in 2021 & got a house a few years after that. But things were starting to go downhill slowly. I stopped seeking knowledge after I converted & I wasn’t praying as I should. I resorted to unhealthy substances to cope with my stress. We were having lots of fights and arguments. I found myself being unhappy and uncontended. My life revolved only around work. By Dec 2023, our marriage was falling apart and was enroute towards a divorce.

I was feeling depressed and had no one to turn to. I reached out to Ustaz Sameer for assistance. He invited me to his class and it was one of the best thing that ever happened. I got to understand from the class how little we give thanks to our God, for the life that He has given us. How we shamelessly transgress what He had forbidden us from and how we wrongly put His Creations above Him in our heart. I was introduced to Zikr, which means remembrance of God. It was something very foreign to me, but it had this calming and soothing effect on my heart. I felt peace & it was what I needed.

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allāh. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allāh hearts are assured.”
Quran 13:28

After coming for a few weeks of classes, I sat down with Ustaz Sameer again. He offered me valuable advices and a fresh perspective to my situation. Ever since I was tested with this situation, I had become more diligent in my prayers. I have been coming for classes and seeking knowledge more regularly. He helped me to realise that this is actually Allah’s way of bringing me closer to Him. For without my problem, I would not have reached out to Ustaz. I would not have understood how irresponsibly I had neglected my acts of worship. I would not have started seeking knowledge and learning properly again. These were all signs from Him, leading me back to Him again.

I returned home late that night, and the following morning, I found myself running late for work. I booked a Grab & the driver’s name included an “@” followed by “Adam,” but I didn’t think much of it. When I entered the car, I noticed an elderly Chinese man with a long beard—an unusual sight. I quickly pulled out my phone to check his name again, but the details were unclear. Curiosity got the better of me, and I asked him about it. He revealed that he was a Chinese convert to Islam.

At that moment, I had goosebumps and my eye welled up with tears. This was the first time I had ever taken a Grab with a Chinese Muslim Convert driver, and in fact, the first time I had met another Chinese Muslim convert. It felt profoundly significant and I understood it as a sign from Allah ﷻ, reminding me of His constant presence in my life. It reaffirmed what Ustaz had told me the night before: these experiences are all signs from Him, guiding me back to Him once again.

إِنَّكَ لَا تَهْدِى مَنْ أَحْبَبْتَ وَلَٰكِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَهْدِى مَن يَشَآءُۚ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِٱلْمُهْتَدِينَ

“Indeed, [O Muḥammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allāh guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.”
Quran 28:56

This was a turning point for me. This was the second chance I got. I knew from that day onwards that this was the path to take. He ﷻ has guided me to Islam once, and I had strayed away. Now He ﷻ is guiding me back again. How many times am I going to let Him down and let Him pull me back again? What if the next time I strayed away again and He ﷻ doesn’t guide me back anymore? Never can I risk this again.

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا۟ وَظَلَمُوا۟ لَمْ يَكُنِ ٱللَّهُ لِيَغْفِرَ لَهُمْ وَلَا لِيَهْدِيَهُمْ طَرِيقًا

“Indeed, those who disbelieve and commit wrong [or injustice] – never will Allāh forgive them, nor will He guide them to a path”
Quran 4:168

In fact, He ﷻ waking us up everyday is Him giving us a another chance to live one more day, to perfect ourselves for Him, to meet Him. For that is the sole purpose He has created us for:

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”
Quran 51:56

Alhamdullilah. I am grateful for where Allah ﷻ has put me today. I am grateful to Him for giving me Islam & for making me a Muslim. Grateful for guiding me onto this path. Grateful for giving me a teacher, a guide. Grateful for the companions He has given me.

May Allah ﷻ guide us all on the right path, keeps us close to our teachers, increase us in beneficial knowledge. May He purify our hearts and forgive our shortcomings. May He allow us to attain the level of Ihsan, to reach Him and to know Him. May He grant us the best in this life and in the hereafter. Ameen. Yours faithfully, a needy servant of Allah.