By Raziq Azman

Alhamdullilah, thank you for having me on the Muharram Retreat and for treating me well during the past four days. Please forgive me for any shortcoming on my end should I have said or done anything wrong.
Alhamdullilah, I think if I were to summarise my experience on this trip to a few words, it would be that it was a massive wake up call to myself. After going on this trip and attending the majlis, I realised that I needed to get my act together.
25 years have gone by for me and I realised how little knowledge I have when it comes to Islam that it became embrassing for me. Hearing all the new terminologies and only understanding a few was really alarming to me and hearing our Ustaz telling us that we might not have alot of time left, or that despite the sins that we’ve done, Allah ﷻ will still provide for our needs and wants out of His Mercy.
SubhanAllah, it woke me up really well, though it did demotivate me at first.
I was worried if it was even possible for me to learn all this topic and all the new terminologies, or that I can’t keep up with my peers. But Alhamdullilah, I realised that I shouldn’t be demotivated and instead see this as an opportunity to grow.
Knowing what I need to learn or practise means that I can improve on myself and set a plan to becoming a better person.
I wish to takeaway two things from this retreat. Firstly, learning the proper way of dhikr and adding dhikr anfas and fa’el. What hit me the most is that it’s an easy dhikr to implement into our daily lives and, yet it weighs heavy in the eyes of Allah ﷻ.
The regular routine of dhikr rewires our brain to be more god-conscious.
With dhikr anfas, we appreciate the breath that we take in thanks to Allah ﷻ and none from us.
With dhikr fa’el, we appreciate every action that was made possible thanks to Allah ﷻ and none from us. InshaAllah, I would like to implement what I learnt about dhikr to my everyday lifestyle.
Secondly, the seven sifat Adam and Qidam. Alhamdullilah, the topic has taught me about how I should start my day and how I can show a proper gratitude to the One that has created and maintain me.
Gratitude in life, knowledge, will, power, hearing, seeing and speech are areas that I want to incorporate into my daily lifestyle.
Alhamdullilah, it has been an amazing retreat experience, especially since it was my first time going on such a trip.
Having a talk with Sheikh and listening to the lesson presented by Ustaz Sameer, I realised that I should no longer go about improving myself alone, and instead with a jemaah and a teacher, or waliyyam mursyidā, as they can show me what areas I’m weak at and guide me through those area.


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