By Rusyaidi Bin Abdul Rashid

In the stillness of Madinah nights, my heart finally learned how to speak.

Every breeze carried a mercy, every silence held a secret of you.

I walked as though the ground remembered him, and somehow, it remembered me too.

Ya Rasulullah, there are parts of me I never understood until I stood in your city.

When I first came to Madinah, I thought I would instantly feel something powerful.

Some kind of spiritual pull, a sudden connection, a wave of tears that would come out of nowhere. But I didn’t, not immediately. And for a moment, I felt worried. I felt like maybe my heart wasn’t good enough, or maybe I wasn’t deserving of the love of this city.

But Madinah taught me something unexpected. Connection doesn’t always come loudly. Sometimes it arrives quietly. In the warmth of the air, in the adhan echoing through the night, in the way people smile at you, in the peace that slowly settles into your chest even when you don’t realise it.

It was in Raudhah, when I stood there not knowing what to say, that I realised how

much I missed you, without even knowing how to express it.

I realised maybe my heart was connecting, just gently, slowly, in its own way.

Maybe this journey was not about feeling something dramatic, but about discovering that my heart is still alive, still capable of loving, still capable of being guided. Walking in his beloved city, I questioned myself:

How can a heart not soften here?

How can a soul not yearn to be here?

How can a body not tremble here?

Ustaz Sameer mentioned a hadith regarding the Prophet ﷺ: 

“I wish I could meet my brothers.

The companions asked, “Are we not your brothers?” 

He replied, “You are my companions. My brothers are those who will come after me, and believe in me though they have never seen me.”

And in that moment, I felt something I cannot explain. The warm feeling that although I cannot see him, Rasulullah ﷺ has always carried me in his prayers.

He missed me… before I ever knew how to miss him.

Ya Allah…

Let this softness stay with me when I leave.

Let Madinah live inside my chest.

Let me love Your Messenger more than I ever have before.

Let this journey transform me in ways I cannot yet understand.

And grant me the honour to enter Jannah one day with a heart that finally feels at home, InshaAllah.

Do You Believe in One God
& Ready to [Re]start your Journey of Faith & Gratitude as a Muslim?