By Tania Lin

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, brothers and sisters.

Alhamdulilah.

All praises be to Allah جل جلاله and our beloved Prophet Muhammed صلى الله عليه وسلم.

I pray my reflection inspires you to draw closer to Allah جل جلاله, our beloved Prophet Muhammed صلى الله عليه وسلم and Islam.

May Allah جل جلاله grant us love and guidance through this reflection. All beneficial knowledge and good deeds are from Allah جل جلاله, all bad is from this needy servant.

Please forgive my shortcomings.

The road is treacherous. At the base of the mountain, you wonder how you’ll ever reach the summit. Yet reaching the top offers us a panorama of divine love, revelation, healing, and truth.

From the retreat in Penang to Sembawang — just a month and a half apart — we were carried by knowledge, love, and mercy from Allah, all channelled through our teacher.

Allah SWT taught us how to realign our priorities, see creation through the proper lens, and live as a servant of the Most Merciful.

He has only offered us good.

We were gifted time with our teacher and righteous company and valuable lessons on tawhid (oneness), purpose, sacrifice, commitment, discipline, tarbiyah (self-development), and tazkiyah (purification) — all through their presence.

Before stepping into this retreat, I carried questions in my heart:

• What is servitude?
• What does it mean to be a servant?
• Why do we serve?
• What is the greatest form of service or hikmah?
• How do I truly benefit others through service?

Walking the Path of Muraqabah and Muhasabah
With greater knowledge comes greater accountability and responsibility. Unlike the previous retreat, there was a need to hold oneself more accountable, not just through seeking but embodying discipline, selflessness, and sincerity.

Before the retreat, I made an intention and dua: “Ya Allah, let me be of benefit to others.

Let me serve for Your sake alone, and not fall into the traps of my pride and performance.”

The struggle was real.

At times, I was over-socialised, drained physically and emotionally.

Constant output, but with little pause.

Limited headspace for muhasabah (self-accountability) — without space to check my niyyah (intention), nor the quiet and stillness to confront the challenges of my nafs (ego).

Yet, Ustaz Sameer’s daily reminder echoed: “Slow down. Pause.” What does it mean to slow down?

Lesson 1: Know Yourself, Know Allah

“He who knows himself, knows his Lord.”

To serve sincerely, we must first face what lies within. In the company of others, it became clear how reactive my ego could be to praise, expectations, and criticism.

Slowing down meant taking short, intentional pockets of isolation and recalibration. These questions came:

• What’s the true intention here?
• Who is being served?
• Is there expectation, or is there surrender?

Lesson 2: Fixing the Bucket Before Filling It

When there are gaps in our heart, no amount of service can be sustained.

The cracks, quiet wounds, must be acknowledged and tackled before khidmah (service), ikhlas (sincerity), tawakkul (reliance on Allah), and taqwa (God-consciousness) can flow.

When feeling burnt out, we’re walking a path many beloveds of Allah SWT walked. It doesn’t mean we are failing, it means we are human, and our heart needs to be refilled.

And yet, it is in these very cracks where we feel broken — spaces of depletion, humility, surrender—that Allah’s light shines most clearly.

These are instances where reliance on Allah (tawakkul) is purest.

“The key to the door of nearness to God is humility, and the lock is pride. Serve His creation, and you will find Him.”

Abd Qadir Jilani

Lesson 3: The Cycle of Love – From Sifat to Action

When intention is purified, actions become love. When actions are infused with love, they rejuvenate the heart.

To serve with sincerity, the nafs had to be shattered, desire let go, and strength drawn from divine love.

Each morning began with a slowing down to return to reflect on the seven sifats (attributes) Allah loaned to us: life, knowledge, power, will, seeing, hearing, and speech.

It was a return to the truth: nothing belongs to us. Our essence, attributes, actions, and effects are merely borrowed.

None of these could have happened without Allah’s will, mercy, and help. I was flawed, forgetful.

Everything around and within us has the potential to be transformed into remembrance-dhikr and ibadah (worship).

How overwhelming, humbling and profound it is that our Creator allows us to translate our being, attributes, and efforts into worship, service, and love!

Witnessing with the Heart: Mushahadah

Mushahadah — the unveiling of the hijab, listening with the soul. In sacred stillness, witnessing begins.

When the material world quiets, time and space dissolve.

All else fades, and only Allah SWT remains.

The Haal, our internal state, begins to realign with His flow.

The waves replied.
Winds howled and greeted.
Birds praised. Rain purified.
Angels joined hands with us.

We were one Ummah — reunited with our beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

Right there, my heart longed for time to stop, for us to reunite with our Rabb in eternal bliss.

That moment pointed to something higher. A tasting. A glimpse.

To experience Allah, to witness His Oneness — Marifah Tawheed.

This is the highest aspiration of a heart longing to return home.

Do You Believe in One God
& Ready to [Re]start your Journey of Faith & Gratitude as a Muslim?