By Raziq Azman

To my beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, I dedicate this letter to you. I don’t fully know what to say, feel, or even write but one thing I know for sure is that Alhamdullilah with the help of Allah ﷻ, I have visited the grave of my beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for which I feel so fortunate, blessed, and overwhelmed with joy.

At the same time, my heart feels heavy. I feel undeserving of this opportunity because of the sins I have committed, the prayers I have missed and have yet to make up and the many times I failed to live as you lived, the Sahabah lived or even as a good Muslim should strive to live.

Yet despite all that, my love and longing for you remains and I want to experience what you and the Sahabah experienced. I want to be like you, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for you are the best creation to ever walk this earth. 

You are the Prophet who constantly thought about your ummah, even though we were born more than 1400 years after you. You are the Prophet who wept and made abundant dua for us so that we would not go astray. You are the Prophet who saved your one special dua which is guaranteed to be accepted by Allah for your ummah instead of using it for yourself. You are the Prophet who struggled and sacrificed to preserve Islam and spread it to the world, which is why I and so many others today, are able to know Islam and have a Quran to read. You showed us how to live the Quran through our actions and daily life.

I realize that I still have so much to learn when it comes to the history in Islam. But what I love learning most about is your character and values. The way you responded to both good and bad with kindness. The way you made everyone feel included, valued, and special. The way you treated your Sahabah with love, kindness, and respect and how they loved and respected you the same way in return. The way you endured hardship yet always looked forward with hope and never gave up. And the way you remained deeply devoted to Allah ﷻ through your prayers and du’a, no matter how busy or difficult life was.

Oh Prophet Muhammad ﷺ , you have shown me how to live according to the Quran. I want to emulate your character and actions in my daily life to the best of my ability. I miss you, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. I am sorry for not living the way you taught us to live.

But I will keep trying, InshaAllah.

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