By Irfana Fatimah

Peace and blessings be upon you, O Messenger of Allah ﷺ. I write to you with love and longing, grateful to Allahﷺ for sending you as a mercy to all creation. 

Before my journey to Madinah, I understood the immense sacrifices and suffering that you, O Prophet ﷺ, endured for the sake of this ummah. I knew of your patience, your struggles, and your mercy.

Yet, deep within my heart, the feeling was not fully alive. My mind could comprehend the knowledge, but I had not yet internalised it to the point of deep gratitude and longing. 

My love for you was present and I was grateful, but it remained at the surface – respectful and sincere yet lacking the depth that comes with a true relationship. At times, I even wondered if something was wrong with me.

Knowing how much you sacrificed should have been enough to move me profoundly, but what I felt was more like recognition: an understanding that you went through immense hardship, without the kind of heartfelt emotion one expects when bonded to someone beloved. 

When I recently visited your blessed city of Madinah, on our very first day we came to see you. As I gazed at the Green Dome from afar, my heart was struck with the realisation that you, beloved Prophet ﷺ, rest beneath it. Standing so near to you, something within me shifted – something I had not experienced before. In that moment, countless thoughts filled my mind.

You are the Prophet who promised that your ummah will be the first to enter Paradise. You are the Prophet who prayed to Allah ﷺ for forgiveness, protection and guidance for me, even though you never knew me in this world.

As I stood there gazing at the Green Dome, for the first time I felt a stirring in my heart – a love and connection that I had longed for but had not yet tasted. It was a feeling I welcomed with open arms, a gift from Allah ﷺ that deepened my bond with you. 

On the day I visited the Rawdah, the feeling in my heart grew stronger with every step I took closer towards you. Alhamdulillah, Allahﷺ granted me the chance to sit in peace. He gave me the opportunity to reflect, to feel and to speak to you in my own way.

Though there was chaos all around me, my heart was only focused on one thing: “I am here, and my Prophet ﷺ is before me. I am so near to him and he hears my salaams.” Without realising, tears began to flow profusely from my eyes.

Everything I had learned about you, everything you endured for the sake of us, rushed through my mind. The weight of your sacrifices, the depth of your mercy, and the beauty of your example overwhelmed me. And in that moment, I cried even more because I felt as though I could sense your presence and my heart finally tasted a closeness I had longed for. 

When we were ushered to leave the Rawdah, my heart longed to stay longer. It was a feeling I had been yearning for, and at last, Allah ﷺ allowed me to taste it.

Yet, to my surprise, I did not feel immense sadness as I walked away. Instead, I felt lighter, as though you had heard me and were reassuring me that everything would be alright, as long as I strive in the path of Allah ﷺ and never forget you.

I left with the sense that I had poured out my troubles and worries before you, and I had received a newfound peace. As I stepped away and turned back to gaze once more at the Green Dome, only one thought filled my mind: “Our beloved Prophet ﷺ, I will return to visit you again, Insha Allah!”

O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, I leave Madinah with a heart lighter than before, carrying the peace I found near you. I ask Allahﷺ to grant me nearness to you in this life through following your Sunnah, and in the Hereafter by allowing me to be with you in Paradise.

Insha Allah, I will return to visit you and the blessed city of Madinah again. Ameen!

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