By Naqiyah Ahmad

I tried again, looking for some sort of purpose and happiness. Adventures and misadventures all around. I thought this time I’d find you. How foolish of me. I take a step, I find heartbreak. Another step, disappointment. Another step, self-loath. Another step… Another step… 

THERE WAS A TRUE ANSWER. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN HIM. HE WAS WAITING FOR ME TO TAKE MY STEPS TOWARDS HIM. YET, I TURNED MY DIRECTION TO OTHER THINGS. ALL THE SUBSTANCES THAT I CHOSE TO DROWN MY SORROWS IN, ALL THE NIGHTS OF INDULGENCE. I CHOSE EVERYTHING ELSE EXCEPT THE ONE THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.

It is Him that we should choose over everything. He has done so much for us, how could we betray Him? It was Allah who determined everything for us; our birth, our parents, our family, every step in our life. And still we betrayed Him? When we betray Allah, we are only betraying ourselves, we are only hurting ourselves. We lose ourselves. At the end of the day, no matter how awful you think it is for whatever you lost, Allah will replace it with something better. He is so devoted to us, when all we’ve ever done is disappoint Him. He gives and gives… Why don’t we ever look His way? It’s not too late, every moment is a perfect opportunity to come back to Him.

Ya Allah, help me devote myself to you, please don’t strike me off your list. Please keep me close to You, close to Home. No matter how many times I fell apart, somehow… You changed my heart. Somehow… You made me come back to You. You picked up my broken pieces and put me back together, and You’ve held me since. Nothing else can compare to You. Please never let me go.

It was always You.

Sometimes, we forget and sin, so that we seek forgiveness from Allah, so that we have our connection with Him. I keep falling yet You keep picking me back up. We need teachers and friends, to keep ourselves in check, to be with You. Holding on to the Sunnah that we learnt from our teachers has done nothing but benefit us. Why did I waste my time in clubs, in substances, when I could have had His love? Why didn’t I speak to You? How far had I fallen? Is it too late? No, I’m still alive. Alhamdulillah. My body is a responsibility before Allah, yet, look how many times I’ve betrayed. Still here You are, keeping me together, saving me again. Countless times, He saved me endlessly. How Merciful You are, my Love!

It was always You.

“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”

Quran 51:56

He created us such that we have needs, like the need to breathe and eat, including the need to toil and work. We need to turn all this into an act of devotion and love, an ibadah. By thanking Him and begging Him for it, and turning to Him, asking Him in neediness for these needs. He loves us so much that He enjoys when we acknowledge Him, when we thank Him, when we ask Him, when He fulfills our needs. Even the angels can’t understand our Love for Him, our relationship with Him. and His love for us. Simply being grateful to Allah, would even raise our rank above the angels. Isn’t He amazing?

Solat Fardhu Guide Additional Notes

As we learn about the rules and regulations for cleanliness, let’s realize the great extent our scholars took to ensure our Ummah is well taught and guided, to verify various facts, we should be inspired by them. We should respect them and preserve the sunnah and inherit them. Hold on to your iman, Hold on to Allah.

It was always You.

Levels of cleanliness to take notes of:

Cleaning the body – external factor

Cleaning the vices of the body – remove the transgressions, remove our evil practices. Quit the substances.

Cleaning the heart – from shirk, from kufr, from temptation, from vanity, from pride, from arrogance, from showing off, from envy. Allah made you the way you are, why do you think less of yourself? Why try to fit into society’s standards of beauty when Allah’s work is a masterpiece?

Clean your soul – from the love of this world, a world that needs lots of reparation. Do not destroy yourself for it.

Only Allah knows best, and everything came from His Love.

Do You Believe in One God
& Ready to [Re]start your Journey of Faith & Gratitude as a Muslim?